ASSERTIVENESS TRAINING
What does assertiveness mean to you? Does it mean standing up for yourself? Trusting your gut? Acting with conviction? To me, it’s all of the above and more. It’s that spark inside of you that drives you to act and inspires you to be yourself without fear of judgement or failure.
Assertive has been mislabeled as aggressive and has been conditioned out of girls for decades - centuries. We are taught to be quiet, be polite, act a certain way, don’t make a fuss. And the result? Generations of women who have a hard time making decisions, take no for an answer too easily, don’t feel comfortable speaking up and saying NO themselves, accepting mediocre positions and promotions, and not living up to their full potential. It’s time to stop this cycle.
I’m guilty of falling into this trap as much as the next girl. There’s a little voice inside me that tells me to back down - to do what everyone wants me to do, to not make a ruckus. Telling this voice to be quiet isn’t easy. It takes practice. Giving people the tools to practice this skill is what I call assertiveness training and it’s easier than you think. Here are a few small achievable tasks that will get you moving in the right direction.
Practice making eye contact when you speak to someone - Try to notice your eye contact throughout the day. Actively lock eyes longer than what feels comfortable
Go out of your way to have a short conversation with someone you don’t know throughout your day - Small talk can be uncomfortable and being comfortable with discomfort is the goal here
Try opening a menu and making a decision in 10 seconds - time yourself and don’t look back - no second guessing
Learn a new skill - this can be as easy as how to make the perfect soft-boiled egg (one of my personal favorite new skills)
On the golf course - instead of just swinging at each shot, actively choose a club and swing length and commit to it - even if you don’t know what you’re doing yet
This is the tip of the iceberg. Own your actions and know that you are capable and worthy of confidence. And if you’re the type of person that needs to doubt something, doubt your doubts.